A Reason To Wake Up (And Get Help Doing It)

Hey hipsters.  Here's a reason to go west of Vermont.

Coffee.  No, like, the really serious kind.

If you sip espresso with a measure of scrutiny usually reserved for wine, then you must bring your discerning palette to Coffee Commissary.  It's the type of establishment that treats brewing your beans like an art form.  You'll know this is the case before even getting a taste.  How?  Well, because some of the baristas have finely kempt mustaches-- that's how.

The beverage menu is pretty straightforward.  No blenders, so no frou frou frappablendedwhatevers.  What they do have, is coffee brewed by the cup via hand pour, cold brew iced coffee, and velvety espresso.

If you need a little nourishment to sponge up your caffeine, they also offer Coolhaus ice cream sandwiches, homemade granola, and an assortment of delicious pastries from local bakeries (if there's only one bran muffin left, I'll arm wrestle you for it).

Located in the 801 complex at N. Fairfax and Waring, with abundant seating and free underground parking (cue chorus of angels), you really have no reason to go to the unmentionable.  Ever again.

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•WHAT: Really amazing coffee.  Really.
•WHERE: Coffee Commissary, 801 N. Fairfax Ave #106, 90046
•WHEN: Open daily, 7 a.m. to 8 p.m.
•$$$: $2 - $4

Thanks A Latte

There are three things you need before you can officially call any city your home: a place to get your hair cut, at least one shortcut that helps you avoid the highway at rush hour, and a dependable coffee shop. And I’m not talking Starbucks, Coffee Bean, or Peet’s. That’s cheating, and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.

For those of you lucky enough to live on the west side, I’ve done the legwork for you. Look no further than The Conservatory.

Honestly, I love this place so much that I didn’t want to write this article. I want it to stay my happy little secret. But as that would defeat the whole mission statement of Intrepid, I’m breaking my silence for the greater good. The Conservatory is a cozy little hideout on Washington Blvd, filled with a handful of copper-topped tables, sacks of unground coffee bean piled in the corner, and, for some reason, an entirely random fake tree trunk growing out of one corner that puts you in the mind of a hobbit hole. The baked goods change daily, and if you’re there on a day when they’ve got the chocolate-cherry or raspberry polenta scones in stock, do yourself a favor: order both.

Then of course, there’s the coffee. It’s cheaper than what you’ll get at any chain, it’s tastier, and there’s a much wider variety of blends. Bring a book and order your latte to stay – you’ll get it served in a giant white mug, with a cool leaf or heart design etched into the foam. The staff knows their blends, and they’ll recommend a brew for whatever mood you’re in if you only ask.

Not a coffee person? Try one of the hundred and fifty varieties of Conservatory Tea – a beverage whose charms have always escaped me- but even I enjoyed the Golden Apricot Tisane. For the addicts who can’t get enough, many of the Conservatory’s special blends are available for purchase, and for those of you too lazy to make the trek to Culver City, they’re also available online.

If Central Perk jokes were still topical and timely...well, y'all can fill in the blank with your Chandlerism of choice.

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• WHAT: Delicious coffee and great people-watching at The Conservatory
• WHERE: 10117 Washington Blvd., in Culver City 90232
• WHEN: 7AM to 6PM Monday-Saturday; closed Sundays
• $$$: Drinks start at $1.50 and run to $5.25 (for 24 oz.)

Watch Your Back, Pancakes

How often do you ask yourself, “I wonder what would happen if I melted cheese on that?”  If you’re like me, the answer is roughly 72% of all waking hours.  Fortunately for us, when the “that” in question is an authentic Liege Belgian waffle, the fine folks at Shaky Alibi “Coffee Bar and Wafflerie” have the answer.

Who knew Belgium was a bi-waffled nation?  Apparently, the batter-based confection we’ve come to call Belgium hails specifically from Brussels.  Meanwhile, Liege-dwelling Belgians begin their waffles with a yeast-based dough.  But, before you chain yourself to the Brussels bandwagon and declare a waffle-based Belgian civil war, we insist you head to the Fairfax District for a bite of the Liege variety.

Shaky Alibi takes the aforementioned dough, coats it in Belgian pearl sugar, then slowly, lovingly (dare we say sensually) cooks it in a heavy-duty iron.  Said sugar melts, caramelizing the waffle into something resembling a heaven-flavored grid of joy pockets, ready to be topped with your choice of powdered sugar, fresh fruit, or an array of imported Belgian spreads.  If you ask nicely (or, simply order it off the menu), they’ll slice that thing length-wise and turn it into an ice cream sandwich.  For those desiring a savory option, Shaky Alibi will sandwich melted cheese and meat between your sweet crispy waffle.  Insert shudder of delight.

Let’s not forget the “Coffee Bar” portion emblazoned on their storefront.  Locally roasted and ground to order, the coffee and espresso drinks will please the most discerning caffeine fiend. 

It’s not a quick cup of coffee nor is it a waffle produced with freezer-to-toaster expediency.  But it is worth the wait.  Shaky Alibi will have you imploring your Eggo thief to “Go ahead and hang on to that.”

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• WHAT: Liege Waffles and Amazing Coffee at Shaky Alibi
• WHERE: 7401 Beverly Blvd.  LA CA 90036 (corner of Beverly and Martel)
• WHEN: Sun 9-5, Mon 8-5, Tues-Thurs 8-7, Fri-Sat 8-11
• $$$: Waffles $5.50+, Savory Waffles $8.75+, Coffee $2.25+