The Oaks Gourmet - Delicious Fare, Free Nostril Massages

If you’re a vegetarian, prepare to have your nostrils violated— and prepare to like it.

Meat-eating or otherwise, when you walk into The Oaks Gourmet, every nerve in your body will instantaneously vibrate with one thought—hamburger.  The smell is downright rapturous.

Situated atop the corner of Franklin Avenue and North Bronson, The Oaks Gourmet practically stares down the Celebrity Center as its aromatic splendor announces, “Hey hipsters, now this is a religion you should get behind.”  One nose full and you’ll be a believer.  One bite and you’ll commit to naming your child things like Chicken Picatta (we dare you, Gwyneth Paltrow).  Hell, you’d willingly participate in a game of violent musical chairs if the prize was, well, anything off their menu.

Open since 2009, the joint was established “with the idea that a small, neighborhood market could serve high quality, delicious food and beverages at a fair price.”  Success.  In addition to an inventive menu covering breakfast, salads, sandwiches, and pizzas, The Oaks has a full coffee bar, the type of cheese selection that would make a stereotypical Frenchman keel over and die from joy, and walls lined with enough snazzy booze options to fuel the entire WGA.

If you’re lingering in line for UCB, make it a quality queue by picking up something to keep you warm while you wait.  House roasted coffee.  Individual brick oven pizza.  Vegetarian meatball sandwich.  You’ll find yourself at the epicenter of olfactory envy.

Open daily from 7 a.m. to midnight.  In other words:  Go.  Go now.

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• WHAT: Tastebud-rewarding food, wine, cheese, chocolate, coffee
• WHERE: 1915 North Bronson Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90068
• WHEN: 7 a.m. to Midnight, daily
• $$$: menu items $7ish to $13ish