There are plenty of perfectly acceptable reasons to not be going to Coachella this weekend. Maybe it's expensive as balls and you lack disposable income; maybe you secretly didn't have that awesome of a time in the past; maybe, no matter how hard you try, you cannot get yourself to give a mad-ass fuck about Duran Duran.
Or maybe, you just want to kick it in LA and see what the homefront has to offer. You're in luck -- starting Friday night, 3 of LA's most renowned underground party purveyors -- the DDP, Shade, and The Cruz Coalition -- are throwing No-Chella, a weekend-long bachannalia stretching across the city that doesn't involve $9 cups of beer, 75,000-person crowds where everyone is suffering from skinny-jean-rash, or Whiz Khalifa.
Friday night, divaDanielle (aka intrepidLA's fairy godmother) and Porter Tinsley (fresh off her crowd-pleasing-beyond-belief pool party set at Fuente Eterno) will be tearing it up at The Other Door in Burbank. The venue is practically worth the trip all by itself -- a minimalist hideaway of homemade infused vodkas, with a merry mix of Burning Man freaks and punk-rock lesbians on the dance floor. The festivities pick back up again on Saturday at The Syrup Loft in downtown LA, where Mike Insane, Jacques The Ripper and Ruff Hauser (check out his crunky dubstep M.I.A. remix) will be kicking out the jams until 5 AM -- about 4 hours after Coachella security will have kicked the last stragglers out.